Let's Make A Deal

Somewhere along this path, concepts like compromise and negotiation have become negative rather than positive.  It's happening at the local level- our school board refusing to sit down with us to work together to solve the budget issues.  It's happening at our state level- Walker refusing to sit down and talk with union leaders and the 14 Democratic Senators.  And it's happening at the Federal level, as we all know from the circus going on in Washington.

On June 4th Time Magazine ran this article, and said, "Since Obama's election, McConnell has mostly treated compromise like a dirty word, derailing his GOP colleagues when they tried to bargain with Democrats."

And from earlier this week from the SGV Tribune, "The truth is that Democrats have made clear they are open to a compromise deal on budget cuts and revenue increases. Republicans have made clear they are not."

As a parent of two children, I am constantly pushing my children to solve their own arguments.  

This is what it looks like.  

My son:  "Want to play legos?"

My daughter:  "No."

My son:  "You can bring your Barbie and I'll make her a car."

My daughter:  "OK."

There you have it.  Negotiation and compromise from a 10 and 5 year old.  

Problem solved.  Life goes on.

At my job I work with students who have a wide range of disabilities.  For many of the students I work with, their ability to compromise and negotiation is weakened or delayed.  And I help them learn these skills.  But before I can teach them, I must find out the underlying cause to their difficulties with these skills.  And it's all about perspective.  Understanding how to put yourself in someone else's shoes.  Comprehending that not every person thinks and feels the way you do.

So when I teach the students, I first help them learn that perspective means "Everybody feels different.  And that's OK."  From there I teach them how to identify how someone else might be feeling in a situation and why.  And then we role play and practice being someone else to learn to understand other people.  And then, after lots of practice, I help the students learn how to negotiate and compromise so that they get some of what they want and so does the other person.  

So I think I've found a second career- one to supplement the pay cut I will take this year.  I'm willing to give workshops to anyone at any level of government for just a small fee.  Because if I can teach my own children and the children I work with at my job, then I can teach a bunch of adults who have forgotten one of the most basic and important skills of all, i.e. How to Get Along with Others

Maybe that could be the title for my workshops.  I like "Let's Make a Deal" better, but that phrase may already be taken...

It's Not a Four Letter Word

Socialism
Has been given a bad rap.
"We're going to take your hard earned money and give it to lazy people who don't want to bother to get a job."  Listening to NPR a week ago I heard one of the guests on the Republican side respond to a caller who asked about raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans.

His response?  "Hey, those rich people worked really hard for their money- they earned it.  It's not fair to ask them to share it with others."

Not fair?

My husband made a great point the other day when I complained (something I've said many times before)  "Why is my career worth less than someone else's? Why is a doctor more valued than a teacher?"  Now that's what seems unfair to me.

It's all about the market, my husband told me.  Simple supply and demand.  Education jobs, for example, are a dime a dozen.  We've had as many as 900 applicants for a teaching job at our school.  Somehow, I doubt there's 900 doctors applying for one job.  He added that in a sense, we've done this to ourselves- letting too many teachers graduate from college, flooding the market, driving our wages down.

John Nichols was on WPR this past week, talking about socialism.  I often have thought of myself as a socialist (there- now I've said it and completely ruined my chances of ever running for political office).  It goes back to my personality- the need to have things be fair and equitable.

Which leads to the second complaint I often utter- "How much money is enough for one person to make?  Does a surgeon really need to make $600,000 when a teacher makes $60,000?"
I've heard people say that if teachers really loved children, then they'd be willing to work for even less than they do now-
Out of the goodness of their hearts.
Because it's really about the children.

I don't hear anyone saying that about doctors.

The anesthesiologist who put my daughter under for her surgery- a 90 minute procedure-
made over $1000.

But shouldn't he have done it for less?
You know, out of the goodness of his heart.
Because he loves his job-
and it's really about the patients.

Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.  That's my husband's stance.  So he's been looking for a new career.

As for me, I'm going to be reading up more on this socialism thing- make sure it's really the way I want to go.  And I'll start here.